Mecha-Rei's avatar

Mecha-Rei

Rei
315 Watchers269 Deviations
72.8K
Pageviews

2022

3 min read

This is going to be long. I need to vent and this is somewhere. It's 2022. I've been on this site for almost 20 years. It's the time to do it - much like writing this overdue journal. This journal is going to be weird as its not going to be cohesive so there's your warning.


I sketch for personal friends and doodle occasionally...not nearly what it used to be. I feel somewhat guilty as I have so many ideas creatively. I purchased a tablet a few years ago with the intention of learning how to digitally produce art and I got overwhelmed so quickly with it. Most of my digital friends encourage me even now to try again.


I came to terms with just being a traditional artist. That has its own challenges as well. I think I suffer from creative overload sometimes, but it all comes down to time. I seriously have zero time to draw. I can doodle quickly, but to actually sit down and draw and color and all that...just no time. I posted a few drawings on instagram every now and again - nothing major.


I've been working in retail for the past 8 years. That is a terrifying environment to be in, especially not being so great with people. I've been a store manager for almost 4 years. Typing that out is crazy to me cause it sure as heck doesn't feel that long. I enjoy my job very much so, but COVID and entitlement culture make is difficult. I have been out of work since February 27 and I'm set to return to work at the end of May.


Personally, I had another kid even though I swore off more children for years. I always wanted another child, but did not want them with the people I was in relationships with. I had two children with my ex-husband and went through a very long relationship with no children produced. I reconnected with an old friend which turned into a whirlwind romance and boom we got married and had a child. We've been married almost a year and our child is 9 weeks old as of this post.


I game regularly...or as much as I can. I play genshin impact and FFXIV mainly. I am on discord as well. I set myself to invisible so I'm there but not.


The last thing I'm going to babble about is my ongoing mental disease. Having another child has aggravated it so much. My anxiety has gone into paranoia lately and that drives me into depression. I have my own feelings about this but my brain is wired so weird. Basically, I have a logic brain and an emotional brain. My illness has prevented me from a lot...sometimes I wonder if I'm dwelling into schizophrenia. As much as we have now placed mental illness in the papers, it doesn't mean that everyone is being treated correctly. In fact, therapists are a dime a dozen and so are medications...but I'm afraid of both.


Anyway to be continued...

Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
Hello.



Should finally have some stuff on here soon.


If I can remember how to work this thing.


/flies to FAQ
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
Hallo there. It's me. Yeah, still here.

And yeah, I still draw.

I'm on instagram: reishikinami
That's where you can see my stuffs.

Other than that, I'm good. How are the rest of you?
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In

Hello, DA

3 min read
Well, it's been over four months since I last updated here and it's about time that I quit avoiding the inevitable. A lot has happened. A lot. Let's begin, shall we?

This story begins in October of last year. Whether I have mentioned it here or not, I do not remember. If I have, then my sincerest apologies for my repetitive nature. Alex and I mutually decided to divorce in October, 2012. We kind of went back and forth about it in the months following which included a possible reconciliation. I finally threw my arms up and moved out with five months remaining on our lease. While I can go into severe detail here about the whys, I'm not going to. It's not fair to me, Alex, or our children. We have now been separated for...going on 3 months.

I had bee contemplating divorce for a while, as he said he was too. He was kinda just waiting for me to say something. Memories of my parents divorce, despite occurring over 10 years ago still echo in my head. I don't want it to be like that and I'm doing everything in my power to see that it doesn't. Plus, my family (even those I hadn't heard from in forever) decided to chime in for whatever reason they think is right to the point where I'm currently not talking to any of them. I know that's probably not healthy, but it's how I cope honestly. I've also been not talking to the majority of my friends, because it's hard to explain the same thing over and over and while I appreciate some of my friends being so eager to help...I don't want your help. I just want you to listen. Just an ear. That's all.

I became increasingly withdrawn from everything, including art. It wasn't from depression, oddly enough. Sure I came here every now and then, but it was just check on certain webcomics. I let my subscription expire due to the fact I cannot justify spending money on a site I really don't fully utilize. Have I walked away from drawing? Absolutely not! Those few who are on my Facebook know of my recent work. Not everything is posted there, just the works I feel like posting. I also haven't brought my scanner over yet either...so what have I been working on?

Catgirls. Action poses. Full body shots.

That kind of stuff.

Other stuff that is occurring is my car broke, I'm broke. I'm rebuilding slowly. Just bare with me and your inboxes will be flooded very soon.

Until we meet again.
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
Yeah, the Superbowl is THIS weekend. I can't believe it's almost the end of football season again. It seems to go by faster every year. Ravens all the way!

In other news, it's looking like a promotion for the Reichan! And guess what else, she's sick! Yeah, it totally sucks, but I am fortunate to be one of those people who get over sickness quick.  So, hopefully by Monday or Tuesday, I'll be good to go!

As for drawing, I drew a little something for a friend's comic...it can be seen here: mageguildlfm.smackjeeves.com/c… The comic is also very good, take a read sometime! (Hint: I drew the one with the cookie XD)


Well, I'm off. Oh yeah...


ALLONS-Y!

Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
Featured

I'm still alive. by Mecha-Rei, journal

Hello, DA by Mecha-Rei, journal

Weekly Journal #4 - Suuuuuuuperbowl by Mecha-Rei, journal

Weekly Journal Update #3 - Scanners hate me by Mecha-Rei, journal

Weekly Journal Update #2 - Revolution by Mecha-Rei, journal